Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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