Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
