planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
