You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
