That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
