she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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