I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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