Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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