If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
