oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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