Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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