I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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