You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Buhtt sex?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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