im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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