When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ttyl tear gas
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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