brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
