Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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