I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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