eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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