Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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