Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
