Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
