Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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