I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
