i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
