I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
