Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
