Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
