I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
