if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
