o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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