Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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