My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
