just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
