question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
