You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
