he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
