so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Pooping to opera.
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