alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
