she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
