just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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