$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
