Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
