Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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