he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
