yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So vagazzling was a success
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
