I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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