Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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