before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
