I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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