A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
