I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
