u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
