plz talk dirty to me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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